The trauma stored in your cock may come out as kink

This is a subject that is not openly talked about by most men and not at all by women. 


Men have suffered sexual trauma as well as women. For most men, this starts as soon as a few days after they are  born when they are circumcised. Just imagine just being born and being welcomed by a part of your body just being cut. The shock to their nervous system makes them disconnected from this part of their bodies as a coping mechanism. 


I have witnessed this trauma coming out as kink, and one of the ways is SPH (small penis humiliation). That is when the individual gets off by being humiliated for having a supposedly small penis.  When I have asked deeper questions to these men, they have shared that their insecurities started with the use of porn when they compare themselves to the porn’s actor penis size and feeling that they could not measure up and feeling inadequate. A way to cope with this overwhelming feeling of not enoughness is to externalize the shame through SPH. 


In the holistic approach of conscious kink, the first step is acknowledging the trauma and giving it a voice in a safe space, allowing it to be felt in the body without judgment.  This is the kind of healing container that I offer in my sessions here in Holy Surrender.